Dating advice after second date
Side note: Unless there is a very good reason (he was rude, he lied or he comes up to your chin), I always recommend a second date.If you liked him enough to go out with him once, you will likely like him enough to go out with him a second time. Are your core values inline (based on what you know so far)?Today my happy medium is a balance of not writing anyone off too early and asking myself 3 pertinent questions after that second date (that determine whether I would accept a third date, if given the opportunity).The purpose of asking these questions is to gauge whether there is in fact compatibility and long term potential with this person rather than leaving it all up to a ‘feeling’, a ‘connection’, a ‘zaza zoom’.Don’t assume the man will know your level of interest, because we won’t.We typically struggle to pick up on non-verbal cues that would normally communicate interest or lack thereof (eye contact, body language, etc.) I am not saying you have to know if you would date the guy long-term after one dinner, but don’t be afraid to be more direct and put your level of interest into words.The simple fact of the matter is, if we asked you out, we are interested. But the funny thing is, we don’t always know if the feeling is mutual.
Since I was looking for more than just a casual fling, my thinking was that over time, and as we both become more comfortable with each other, he would grow on me.
It takes a while to be yourself around someone new, to get to know the other person, to give them a genuine chance—that’s why I usually suggest 3-4 dates as a good barometer, rather than a one-and-done date policy (although, there are always exceptions to the rule).
If you're left with questions of compatibility after the first date, be patient. Give it some time to develop, and you'll likely have more answers.
If you're feeling good about things, instead of saving your "I had a great time" for the end of the evening, choose a spontaneous moment during the date to say (if you mean it), "I just want to thank you for asking me out tonight because I am having a great time!
" Do this, and I promise the remaining portion of the date, while it might have been good before, will be great now.